Freedom and Agency are very related concepts. In both cases, we like to think of only our own freedoms and choice. But we need to realize that liberty and agency belong to everyone, which can be hard to accept. From the movie "The American President" - "America isn't easy. America is advanced citizenship. You've gotta want it bad, 'cause it's gonna put up a fight. It's gonna say, "You want free speech? Let's see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil, who's standing center stage and advocating at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours." Agency is much the same. You must allow others - especially family and friends - to have theirs.
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S1E17 –Freedom and Agency – The Right to Choose
This is the podcast Science and Scriptures, Season 1, Episode 17 or “Freedom and Agency – The Right to Choose.
Hello everyone. This is Scott Frazer and welcome to another episode of Science and Scriptures. Every week, I try to choose topics that relate to current events that are taking place in our world. The topic I picked for this week seems to be receiving a lot of attention lately – specifically our freedoms. Surprisingly, much of the discussion is bitter and angry. It is interesting to compare what we know about our freedoms in the United States to the agency we enjoy on this earth. So today we are going to discuss freedoms and agency.
I have several grandchildren who are toddlers now. Toddlers are a great age… usually. Generally, toddlers are sweet and happy. Except of course, when they’re not. There is a reason that two-year-olds have earned the moniker “The Terrible Twos”. Because in the “Terrible Twos”, toddlers seem to have developed enough to realize that they should have a freedom to choose. Is this a natural result of being two years old or does someone tell our toddlers that they now have freedom to choose? As infants, babies have their parents take things away from them all the time. Fine, no problem. But as those infants turn two years old, it appears they realize that they have agency and they DEMAND that right to choose. Their choice may be to climb a bookcase, or play with a certain toy, or to empty a kitchen cabinet. But if you try to take away their right to make their choice, then you will immediately have a screaming toddler on your hands. Their attitude is that they have the freedom to choose and they are being denied that right. Where did they learn that?
As our children become teenagers, the question of freedom of choice becomes a question again. At least now your teenage son can verbalize his logic for getting his way. The logic may be questionable of course. I never understood their reasoning when my children told me they should get to do something because “all the other kids get to do it”. But, again, it comes down to a tug of war on what freedoms a 16-year-old should have. What time is a fair curfew? Do freedoms increase when the 16-year-old turns 17?
The concept of freedom is still being defined. 245 years after our Declaration of Independence and the United States is still trying to figure out what freedom means. What freedoms or powers does the president have? What freedoms do protestors have? Should we have the freedom to not wear facemasks or practice social distancing? Do businesses have the right to remain open when the government tells them to close during COVID outbreaks?
I just saw the movie “The American President” a few weeks ago. It’s a great movie starring Michael Douglas as Andrew Shepherd, the widowed President of the United States. The actress Annette Bening plays Sydney Ellen Wade, an environmental lobbyist and the President’s love interest. Reelection is coming up. The President is be attacked by another candidate for being a member of the American Civil Liberties Union and because his girlfriend, played by Annette Bening, was present at a flag-burning protest years ago. Throughout the movie, President Shepherd puts up with the criticism, refusing to be baited. Finally at the end, he unleashes a speech that is hard to forget. Because within that speech is the following quote, which completely changed my understanding of what freedom is.
“America isn't easy. America is advanced citizenship. You've gotta want it bad, 'cause it's gonna put up a fight. It's gonna say, "You want free speech? Let's see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil, who's standing center stage and advocating at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours." You want to claim this land as the land of the free? Then the symbol of your country cannot just be a flag. The symbol also has to be one of its citizens exercising his right to burn that flag in protest. Now show me that, defend that, celebrate that in your classrooms.
Then you can stand up and sing about the land of the free.”
We all tend to think of Freedom as something that gives us the right to do what we want. American has fought wars to maintain our freedoms. Some of you listening may have even joined the military to help in that effort and I thank you for your service. We pay taxes to support a standing army to maintain our freedoms. We say the pledge of allegiance; we sing the Star-Spangled Banner. We love the freedom that the Founding Fathers, our Constitution, and Democracy gave to us. We sacrifice so much for our freedoms that we think that all Americans should agree on what is best for the country.
From this movie quote, we learn that the downside to freedom is that it is freedom for ALL. Freedom often involves listening to other people talk – some with whom you totally disagree. That realization changes your fundamental understanding of what freedom is.The American flag is a symbol for our country. We respect our country and our flag. But there have been times that people have been so angry with our country that they burn our flag to symbolize that anger. The right to burn the flag has been debated in this country for decades. Burning the American flag has an interesting history.
Reacting to protests during the Vietnam War era, the United States 90th Congress enacted the Flag Protection Act of 1968, making it illegal to mutilate, deface, physically defile, or burn a flag. In June 1990, the Supreme Court struck down the Flag Protection Act, ruling that the government's interest in preserving the flag as a symbol does not outweigh the individual's First Amendment right to disparage that symbol.
Ironically, you have the freedom to burn the flag that symbolizes your freedoms, including the one that allows you to publicly burn that flag. Freedoms are more important than symbols.
In this same movie, President Shepherd was also criticized for being “a card-carrying member of the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU)”. My father did not like the ACLU and I remember him complaining about them repeatedly as I grew up. The ACLU took on the causes and defense of some people who had committed terrible crimes. That did not mean those terrible people no longer had the right to due process and a fair trial. The ACLU existed to guarantee those rights, however unpopular it made them.
Before moving into a discussion about agency, allow me to repeat the quote from this movie, so we can see how it might be applicable in a discussion about agency.
"You want free speech? Let's see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil, who's standing center stage and advocating at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours. Now show me that, defend that, celebrate that in your classrooms. Then you can stand up and sing about the land of the free.”
Free Agency
Many of the same things true about the freedoms in our country can be said about our Agency. In the Preexistence we fought a war to guarantee our Agency – the right to make our own decisions about how we live our lives. We agreed to risk our eternal lives so that we could have the chance to choose eternal life. I fully agree with you that my own personal agency is great. But the fact that I must recognize that agency in other people – including the people whom I love is often difficult.
To those of you listening who have children under the age of 18 – someday you will look back at this time as “the good old days”, or the years you could still tell your children what to do. Because, let me tell you, you won’t get to tell your children what to do when they are adults.
I remember when my youngest son Sean was about ten years old. Sean was an athlete and that summer he had played both baseball and soccer.The schedules overlapped considerably, and it was a crazy time just getting him to practices, games, and matches as well as scout camp and other summer activities. The following summer, I gave him a choice – baseball or soccer. Now, I had been his coach for baseball. I had grown up playing baseball and loved coaching. I never played soccer, I didn’t feel I could coach it and I didn’t really even understand the rules. In fact, to this day, I am unclear about the rule of off-sides. But Sean’s two best friends were big soccer players, so he chose soccer. I remember to this day my disappointment – and wondering why I had given him the choice in the first place.
When my daughter Morgan was in college, I would take the opportunity during our phone calls to give her my sage advice. She told me,
“Dad, you know that I am old enough to make my own decisions, right?”
Resigned to the fact, I answered, “Morgan, just say the words ‘Thank you for your counsel, Father. I will seriously take it into consideration.’ That’s all that I want to hear.”
So, that became our key phrase for communication. Whenever I got… a bit too fatherly, she would say, “Thank you for your counsel, Father. I will seriously take it into consideration.”
I miss the days when I could threaten to take away Morgan’s cell phone to get her to do what I wanted her to do. During one argument, I remember pretending to dial Verizon to cancel her account. I never actually took away Morgan’s cell phone.But she was never quite sure if I would or not, so the ploy worked. Those were the good old days.
Recognizing other people’s agency doesn’t always mean subordinating yours.
The last time I was able to influence the direction of my son Sean’s life was when he left for college. He had a pretty girlfriend who was going to a local university in Minnesota. Sean wanted to go with her, against our wishes that he go to college in Utah. I told him, “It’s your life and I can’t control your decisions. But I get to decide where I spend my money. I’ll be happy to pay for your tuition in Utah, but I won’t pay for tuition in Minnesota.” Sean ranted and fumed, but since he had little savings of his own and he did not want to delay college, he selected to go to Utah. Sean served a mission two years later, possibly due to the decision on where he first went to college. I am very proud of him.
So you don’t think poorly of my children, most of my children’s decisions have been correct and well thought out. They chose successful careers and married wonderful people. I love my sons-in-laws and my daughters-in-law. Thank heavens for that. But my children have made some poor decisions too, several of which they didn’t tell me about until the damage of those decisions was done.
Let me see if I can put President Shepherd’s speech into terms of agency, not free speech.
"You want free agency? Let's see you allow your children, whom you love deeply, to make choices that will make your blood boil, who're starting to live their own lives and making choices that you know will end badly for them. Though you wish you could do so, you CANNOT advocate at the top of your lungs that they make other choices. Though you are a parent, and have spent a lifetime raising your children, you can only softly advise and pray they listen to your counsel."
I realize I am making it sound like being the parent of adult children is terrible. In reality, it is not. You just have to go from being able to issue parental commands to… following the instructions of the hymn, “Know this that every soul is Free”. I quoted a line from this hymn a week or two ago, but this hymn is so applicable! It goes like this…
Know this that every soul is free
To choose his life and what he’ll be
For this eternal truth is giv’n
That God will force no man to Heav’n
He’ll call, persuade, direct aright
And bless with wisdom, love and light
In nameless ways be good and kind
But never force the human mind
When my grandson Owen turned eight years old, I spoke at his baptism. Owen and his father love golf, so I compared his baptism to playing a round of golf with the adults in his life.As we approach each driving tee, we all feel the need to coach Owen about his golf swing. Owen’s Dad might say, “Remember to keep your head down”. I might say, “Keep your eye on the ball Owen”. His uncle, who also loves golf, may encourage Owen to “Follow through with your swing. ”But then comes the time that all adults must say, “Okay Owen, it’s up to you now.” And then we all need to be quiet and allow Owen to take his swing.That is what baptism represents. Starting with his baptism, the adults in the room must learn to talk less and allow Owen to start making his own choices. Baptism represents many things, not the least of which is that this young person is making a wise decision and needs to be allowed to make many more.
In Doctrine and Covenants 101, we read why agency is non-negotiable,
“That every man may act in doctrine and principle pertaining to futurity, according to the moral agency which I have given unto him, that every man may be accountable for his own sins in the day of judgement.
In other words, the Final Judgement will not work unless everyone has had their agency to make decisions.
I know of families that have had arguments that lasted for years, but from the point of view that everyone has their agency, such arguments make no sense. Such questions come down to - who has the right to make the decision? That is the point of agency. The war in the preexistence assures that we have the freedom to choose how to live our lives. There will be consequences of course – for both the good and the bad decisions. Our Final Judgement will review our decisions and the verdict will be made. In the meantime, arguments with adult children or grandchildren about their freedom to make their own decisions are losing propositions.
I’m making it sound simple but determining who gets to make a decision can be very complex. Where does one family member’s freedoms end because they are starting to impede upon the freedoms of another family member?
Families can learn to deal with disagreement. My wife Cheri and I have been married for 40 years – and she still disagrees with me on certain topics. We have discussed these topics for hours on end, usually over dinner or long drives. But, amazingly enough, I haven’t convinced her of everything I believe in. We agree to disagree. Her arguments and beliefs are part of who she is – and I wouldn’t change that.
That respect for other’s rights to choose must extend to friends and neighbors as well.
Logically, I might expect that other ward members are pretty much the same as me. We live in the same neighborhood. We have about the same level of education and we have all been taught the Gospel. We know the reasons we are on earth and the commandments we should obey. We have the teachings of Jesus Christ, such as the Sermon on the Mount, to tell us how to treat other people. One might expect from all these similarities that we would be more alike. But I am constantly surprised at how different I am from members of my own church ward. Good friends have opinions very different from my own.
Your set of beliefs are set by the following variables.
So, if I asked you why you believed in… the principle of tithing or church welfare, could you tell me? Unless you have extraordinary insight into your motivations and beliefs, I doubt it. Your testimony about any particular church doctrine, or political belief, has been defined by multiple teachings and experiences. You probably came to some of these realizations during childhood, which you likely don’t even remember.
Despite apparent similarities you share with your neighbors, differences in DNA, upbringing, and adult experiences have lead to differences in political opinions, Gospel understandings, ideas on how to raise children, etc.
We all must accept those differences. The War in Heaven established our right to agency; an inspired Constitution established our right to freedoms in the United States. Both are bigger than our anxieties about the decisions of another person.
That is all that I have for you today. With this episode as a foundation, next week I would like to talk about the fine line between respecting others agency and beliefs - and then trying to teach them. Social media has changed much about how we teach. On positive side, the goal of instruction has always been to open up new understandings about the universe and the Gospel. Lately, social media has encouraged many people to conclude that any attempt to teach them is an assault on their structure of beliefs. Not wishing to defend, this definition has changed how we dare to interact with one another. But it’s not a healthy change. As individuals, we need to be teachable, an aspect of life that we will discuss next time.
This is Scott Frazer with the podcast Science and Scriptures. Thanks for listening. Take care.