It has become very… trendy… in the world now to be a victim. COVID-19 created many victims – snatching away personal health, loved ones, jobs, businesses. Some people have still not recovered from the blows of the virus. This inability to recover seems to have started a trend that has many people seeking to be identified as victims. The media loves this stuff of course. Each week new populations of victims are displayed on the covers of magazines. Please note that I’m not going to debate the accuracy of the any of these victim’s stories. Everyone has felt victimized and it can take some time to “get over it” and shed those sticky strands of righteous indignation. But, make no mistake, the ultimate goal IS to “get over it.” That may be the reason why the Savior spent a great deal of His time in teaching about forgiveness. Victimhood is not a good place to be, and you need to leave it behind as soon as possible. May God bless you in your efforts.
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Science and Scriptures S2E1 – The New Popularity of Victimhood
Hello everyone. This is Scott Frazer, host of the podcast Science and Scriptures.
Welcome to the first episode of Season 2! I hope you are coming off a good summer. The summer break between seasons was a good recess. But school has started again and we are moving into a new season. I think I have some good topics for discussion in the next episodes. We live in a time of polarized politics, public demonstrations, anger, division, and confusion. As we try to make sense of it all, there’s lots to talk about. I hope this podcast can help us stay a little more grounded in regards to our religion and life. Today, I wish to talk about a challenge that has been around a long time but seems to be enjoying a huge comeback with many people, especially, it seems, with our younger generations. This episode is entitled “The New Popularity of Victimhood”.
It has become very… trendy… in the world now to be a victim. COVID-19 created many victims – snatching away personal health, loved ones, jobs, businesses. Some people have still not recovered from the blows of the virus.
This inability to recover seems to have started a trend that has many people seeking to be identified as victims. Governments, religions, corporations, and any other organization of power are being accused of grievous sins. It doesn’t matter if the deeds were done hundreds of years ago or last week.Victims, or their descendants, demand their plight be recognized and, often, that they be compensated for the mistakes and poor judgement of these institutions.
Recently, we have seen minority groups re-declare that they are victims of a history of racial abuse in America. Women declare that they are victims of being treated more poorly than their male counterparts. Homeless people declare that they are victims of a society that has treated them poorly, leading to their homelessness. There was a major article in Time Magazine published about the racist treatment of a new minority group that has been named “Asian-American and Pacific Islanders”.Whether it be due to different races, genders, sexual preferences, economic status, or how they identify themselves, it seems everyone is a victim, shouting at the world and government for attention to their needs.
The media loves this stuff of course. Each week new populations of victims are displayed on the covers of magazines.Such stories raise the indignation and ire of their readership, who blog their support of these newly victimized people.For every face you see on the cover of a magazine, there is a million more who also see themselves as oppressed victims in a cruel world. When a young woman declares herself to be a victim on social media, Facebook followers express their condolences and support for her plight. This attention and validation feels good and stokes the “righteous indignation” of the victim. It is a peculiar characteristic in human beings that we like to feel “righteous indignation”. And if someone has been victimized, even if the offender was COVID-19, victims now believe they deserve compensation. And for the most part, they have gotten it. For example, millions of people have been living rent-free for about a year due to government mandate. Secondly, we like it when our Facebook friends to pay attention to us and close in around us for protection. We like it when friends advise us that we have been traumatized and probably shouldn’t try to go back to work or school. We have a justified reason to stay at home and recover.
Please note that I’m not going to debate the accuracy of the any of these victim’s stories.I wouldn’t dare. Many victims really have been mistreated by the selfishness and unrighteousness of others. I am not going to try to make those judgements. I also don’t want to sound insensitive to victims. At some time or other, everyone has been mistreated by their employer, the government, or an individual. Everyone has felt victimized and it can take some time to “get over it” and shed those sticky strands of righteous indignation.
But, make no mistake, the ultimate goal IS to “get over it.” Too many people are deciding that they are victims – and then they are hanging on to the shroud of that victimhood for as long as they can. Granted, there will be an emotional period right after the offensive incident when the victim is entitled to some venting and tears.But then, maybe when real, non-virtual friends and family suggest that the victim “move on” from the affront, the victim should face the truth that it’s time to get rid of the emotional baggage.You see, the prolonged grief and anger that comes from victimhood is bad for both emotional and spiritual health.Victims become angry and frustrated at their lives. The victim feels entitled to payback from the group or country or planet that caused their offense. They are angry at the world, and often at the God who created this world. Victimhood causes only negative emotions. The victim often becomes depressed. If you notice the photos of victims in the magazines I mentioned, the victims are never smiling. In fact, they always have a sad, downtrodden look – as if they may never be able to endure another day of their existence. You will never see photos of a smiling victim who has moved on and is striving to make today a better day.
The best example of how victimhood can destroy lives is found in the Book of Mormon. Laman and Lemuel were unsurpassed in earth history at being victims and passing their grudge to future generations. In 2 Nephi, chapter 5, Nephi explains the dire situation he was in after the death of his father Lehi. Speaking of Laman and Lemuel, Nephi recounts,
“Yea, they did murmur against me, saying: Our younger brother thinks to rule over us; and we have had much trial because of him; wherefore, now let us slay him, that we may not be afflicted more because of his words. For behold, we will not have him to be our ruler; for it belongs unto us, who are the elder brethren, to rule over this people.”
Can’t you just hear Laman and Lemuel continue their whining, “Hey, we are the victims here!We deserve to rule over the people, because we are the older siblings! Nephi thinks he can take our place as rulers.” The perceived victimhood of Laman and Lemuel resulted in wars against the Nephites that lasted for the next 1000 years.
The Lamanites were never able to stop being victims. Apparently, Laman and Lemuel passed down their inability to forgive and forget. Fully 500 years later after the separation of the Nephites and Lamanites, we read that the Lamanites still held a grudge regarding their victimhood. In Alma, chapter 54, the Lamanite general Ammoron is corresponding by letter with Moroni regarding a prisoner exchange. He wrote,
“For behold, your fathers did wrong their brethren, insomuch that they did rob them of their right to the government when it rightly belonged unto them.”
Ammoron seems to believe that he still has a strong argument to make against the Nephites and decides to give them another chance to make things right. He continues…
“And now behold, if ye will lay down your arms, and subject yourselves to be governed by those to whom the government doth rightly belong, then will I cause that my people shall lay down their weapons and shall be at war no more.”
Moroni probably thought “Oh my gosh, Ammoron, give it up already.Your grievance happened 500 years ago!”.The Nephites, as you may remember, did not lay down their weapons and the war continued. Calculating 20 years for a generation, the Lamanites passed down their anger at being victims to the Nephites for not letting themselves be ruled for 25 generations. Think of all the misery and deaths that particular victimhood caused both peoples for centuries.
Becoming a victim is usually a random event. Often you were in the wrong place at the wrong time. That place could be driving down the street, in an insecure job, or near a person with COVID. However, once the unfortunate event has occurred, remaining a victim is a mental attitude. Extreme victims are said to have a “victim mentality”. The message behind this podcast episode is that no one needs to remain a victim. It is a choice. But to put it all behind you requires that you forgive everyone who had a role in making you a victim. You don’t have to go visit your antagonists and inform them of your decision. In fact, I don’t recommend it as it would make the forgiveness process much more difficult. No, the victim just has to take a deep breath and decide to move on. I know I am making it sound easy to mentally and emotionally close the door on all the negativity and indignation. It’s not easy. But victims must decide each day how much more of life they want to spend being angry at someone or the world in general.
To whoever feels like a victim, I am sorry for what has happened to you. But the hard truth of the matter is that you will probably never be compensated. If you were beaten by a stranger due to your skin color or ethnicity, the criminal will probably never be found or punished. If you were unfairly fired from a job, your employer will almost certainly never apologize or offer you your job back. Though your blood still boils at the injustice of your experience, and though you may be absolutely correct that you were wronged, the world will not apologize and make it right again. That’s not how the world works.
That may be the reason why the Savior spent a great deal of His time in teaching about forgiveness. In Matthew chapter 6 we read,
“For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
In Matthew 18, we read
“Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?
Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.
In the days of the Bible, most people lived in small villages and neighborhoods and knew each other well. Victims almost certainly knew the person who made them victims. Today, you may not even know who you need to forgive. In today’s world, crimes are usually anonymous.Secondly, the forgiveness may not be appreciated by the perpetrator. The offending party will probably not care if you forgive them or not.COVID-19 certainly doesn’t care about all the ruin it caused in people’s lives. Forgiveness is not easy and it makes it even harder to forgive someone who is unrepentant.
Victimhood almost always craves revenge – yet another emotion that is unhealthy. In Romans 12, we read:
“Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.”
Just two verses later, Paul repeats the teaching:
“Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.”
There are many unfair events that happen in the world – which will not be made right in this world.True forgiveness is actually a demonstration of faith. You must have faith that God will certainly repay – and the wrongs of this earth will eventually be made right.
Please note that in these verses of forgiveness, the Lord is not concerned with the perpetrator of the offense. He is worried about the victim – who will continue to be a victim until he or she has forgiven everyone connected with the offense. Forgiveness is mostly for the good of the forgiver – not the person forgiven. The forgiver needs to get rid of the anger, the resentment, and the feeling that life cannot go on.
So, why is victimhood becoming so popular? If you are a victim of, say, a racist slur or an ethnic attack, it is easy to feel that you are on the moral high ground. You have the right to feel wronged. When your social media supports your anger and resentment, the attention feels good. Though you are being cast in a poor light, since “downtrodden” doesn’t really look good on anybody, at least it is a light. In today’s world of eight billion people, validation and attention is hard to find. Some people like the attention enough to make it their life’s work to battle against the wrong.
For as long as you are a victim, people will pity you, an attitude which you may or not appreciate.They will come to respect you when you forgive and move on with your life. For centuries, people who have overcome being victims have been recognized and praised for their resilience and courage. Think of Helen Keller. Think of the handicapped people who compete in the para-Olympics. Think of the actor Michael J. Fox, leading the battle against the Parkinson’s disease. These people are held up as examples that prove that people can shake off major challenges and carry on with successful and fulfilling lives.
We Have all been Victims
As we discuss victimhood, we should probably realize that we have all been victims at one time or other. Violence may have been directed at you because of your ethnicity. You may have been laid off from work, or a love interest may have broken up with you. There are thousands of reasons for victimhood. If you think back on your own history, you can probably pick out a few people who have offended you. Most had no intent to harm you.
In my case, my last two corporate employers laid me off. Neither lay-off was due to the quality of my work; it was simply a business decision on their part. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time, though decisions on my part had probably put me in those wrong places. It took me a few weeks to get over those dismissals. But after the emotions calmed down a bit, I purposefully worked to delete the firings from my mind, focusing on the future. Today, when I remember those two layoffs, I no longer have the urge to call the companies’ HR departments and yell at an administrative assistant – as if that would do any good at all. In truth, I still hold some slight resentment. But the layoffs are a distant memory and, purposefully, I don’t think about them much.
The Savior seems to agree with the concept of working through our anger as quickly as possible.In the book of Mark, chapter 5, we read
“Agree with thine adversary quickly, whiles thou art in the way with him; lest at any time the adversary deliver thee to the judge, and the judge deliver.”
Angry with God
Lastly, we can be Angry with God. In many of the worst events of our lives, we have no one to blame except God. Automobile and industrial accidents, disease, death by natural causes, lightning strikes, hurricanes – the list goes on and on. In our grief, we may realize that only Godhad the power to avert this tragedy.Our anger swings toward Him for not using His power to do so. As stated in the book On Grief and Grieving by Elisabeth Kubler Ross and David Kessler,
“The truth is that anger has no limits. It can extend not only to your friends, the doctors, your family, yourself, and your loved one who died, but also to God. You may ask, “Where is God in this? Where is his love? His powerfulness? His compassion? Is this really God’s will?” There you sit, alone with your anger, wondering how to reconcile your spirituality and your religion with this loss and anger.”
There really are no limits to the anger and indignation of victimhood. Victims ruin relationships with family, friends, church leaders, and God – lashing out at those who have done nothing to cause their sorrows. In their minds, the victims can justify this violent pushing away of loved ones. Victims are victims and so, they believe, they have the right to be angry with anyone. The universe owes them. They have the right to sulk in their rooms or to remain unemployed.
The coronavirus interrupted a year of our lives and, in doing so, injured a lot of people.The entire world is trying to rebound from those setbacks. As a whole, we seem to be doing pretty well. But there are thousands of people, some in your own neighborhood, who have not recovered.If you know such a person, you might want to visit them and kindly encourage them to take the next step in moving on with life. Victims know they are wasting precious time by retreating from the world, from employment, from social interaction, or from attending church. If you can lend support to that part of your friend’s mind, you may get him or her to open a door.
To conclude, I have a couple of reasons for choosing this topic for my podcast today. As a church, I think we should remind ourselves that victimhood is not a good place for anyone to be. The news is saturated with reports of new victims every day, to the point that it seems people are looking for reasons to be offended. Secondly, I have friends and family whose lives have been put on hold ever since the beginning of COVID-19. A couple of them lost their jobs due to COVID, but now they simply cannot find the energy to seek other employment. Please note, this is in an economy where employers cannot find enough employees to work for them. With its negativity, victimhood seems to have sapped the energy from many unemployed. There are signs of these struggles all around us.If you have recently been victimized, or you have a bad experience in your past that still bothers you today, I hope you can move past your bad experience as quickly as possible. Victimhood is like a cancer to the soul. Despite the attention and pity the media is giving to victims now, don’t be fooled. Victimhood is not a good place to be, and you need to leave it behind as soon as possible. May God bless you in your efforts.
So, that is all I have for you today. Thanks for listening. I hope you can better understand the destructive effects of considering oneself a victim.
One last item - I would like to encourage everyone to be sure to listen to next week’s podcast. I will be interviewing Dr. Aaron D. Franklin, a professor at Duke University and the author of a new book called The Spiritual Physics of Light. It’s a challenging and deep read, now available at Deseret Book or Amazon. It will cause you to think about spiritual light and your abilities to discern it.
Thanks again for listening. It’s good to be back. This is Scott Frazer of the podcast Science and Scriptures. Have a good week and take care.