This episode will be a special podcast, a change in my planned schedule. A young man in my church ward committed suicide last week. Although I did not know the young man well, his death affected me. Through this podcast and my books, I research and write about God, the Creation, and the interaction between the two every day. I felt a need to share my belief as to why we live in a world with such difficulties that young people take their own lives. If I cannot offer some perspective on suicide and tragedy to this family and many others who have experienced such sadness, then what good am I to anyone as an author of the books and podcast I write?
Email: scottrfrazer@gmail.com
Website: ScottRFrazer.com
S2E07 – Why Suicide and Tragedy Occur
This is the podcast Science and Scriptures, Season 2, Episode 7, or “Why Suicide and Tragedy Occur”.
Hello everyone. This is Scott Frazer of the podcast Science and Scriptures. This episode will be a special podcast, a change in the schedule that I had planned. You see, a young man in my church ward committed suicide last week. Although I did not know the young man well, his death affected me. Through this podcast and my books, I research and write about God, the Creation, and the interaction between the two every day. I felt a need to share my belief as to why we live in a world with such difficulties that young people take their own lives. If I cannot offer some perspective on suicide and tragedy to this family and many others who have experienced such sadness, then what good am I to anyone as an author of the books and podcast I write?
So, in this podcast episode, we are going to discuss why there is tragedy in earth life. When disaster happens, when we are finally able to think at all, the first question we normally ask ourselves is “WHY?” Now, there are many people who will tell you that the tragedy was God’s will. Such false doctrine comes from the belief that everything that happens on earth is God’s will. Let me assure you that these beliefs are not correct. God does not plan or organize tragic events to happen to His children. Parents, please know that, if you have lost a child, it was not God’s will and He grieves with you.
I have never experienced the level of grief that families who have lost a child must experience.The overwhelming grief will last for a given time, though I would never try to specify how much. But the brain has self-defense mechanisms which will dim the intensity of its emotions over time. These mechanisms are important to retain our sanity, and we should recognize them for the mercy they are. After the emotional response abates a bit, one’s mind may start to question why the tragedy occurred to this family in this place, at this time. If tragedy is not God’s will, then why are dangers built into earth life? Why do some people have trouble maintaining their mental stability, so much so they end their own lives?
The question of why God allows tragedy to occur has been asked for centuries. I am reminded of a quote by a famous man named Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson.
Dr. Tyson is a well-known and well-spoken astrophysicist, author, and the host of numerous television shows about astronomy. Because astrophysicists study the universe and its workings, Dr. Tyson is often asked about his belief in God. His response is that, in all his study of the cosmos, he has never found evidence of a benevolent Being. He stated,
“If your concept of a Creator is someone who is all-powerful and all-good… [when] I look at disasters that afflict Earth and life on earth – volcanoes, hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes, disease, pestilence, and congenital birth defects... I just ask, ‘How do you deal with that?”
That, Dr. Tyson, is a good question - and the answer depends on your religious beliefs. If you don’t believe in God, then you must consider tragedy as mere, random bad luck. So there is no reason or purpose behind the disaster or tragedy – or in life itself for that matter. We are simply products of our wildly unlikely evolution. If you do believe in God, however, then you must step back a very long way and examine the Gospel plan for the reasons and the purpose behind it. Simply put, why are we on Earth?
The standard missionary response to this question is that we are here on earth to receive a mortal body, develop faith, and be tested to see if we will follow the commandments. While true, this very limited answer only suggests why investigators and church members should attend church and obey the commandments. This argument assumes that our primary purpose in life is to be tested. However, this to-be-tested explanation excludes millions of people who never had access to Gospel teachings. Secondly, that conclusion does not fit with our understanding that earth life is a part of our Eternal Progression. So… is our main purpose on Earth to be tested or are we here to progress?
If one believes we are on earth to be tested, then, as we understand the phases of eternal life, we only had the Preexistence to actually learn and prepare for our testing.Yet, we didn’t even have a body in the Preexistence. There was no marriage, no children, no work careers, no pain, no danger and no death.Our life options were very limited.So… really… how much could we have learned without these vital aspects of life that teach us so much in this world?Our primary purpose on Earth is to learn, experience, and mature.
This is not to say that there will be no judgement. The book of Revelation tells us there will be a judgement to determine how far we have progressed – and in what direction we progressed. We tend to anticipate that judgement will be terrible, as if we are criminals being brought before the court for sentencing.But perhaps the judgement should be seen more as a determination of what should be our next phase of life. Whatever the case, this pattern of progression and judgement has been in effect for innumerable worlds. In each of these worlds, as with ours, there are requirements around our eternal progression. We did not come to this world to place ourselves in suspended animation – so we can be judged for a righteous, though totally uneventful, life. Nor did we come here to give up our free agency as Satan suggested. We came here because we wanted progression that could not be found in the Preexistence. Rule #1 was that we had to be born into a mortal body. Rule #2 was that the earth must remain a place of faith. There were numerous other rules as well, all set in place to assure that each one of us would have a life of positives and negatives experiences, from which we would learn.
If earth life is meant to enhance learning and experience, what should it look like? What might you expect to find here? Since we believe that we were given agency with which to make decisions, one must expect to find a wide range of choices in life.To give us that wide variety of choices and challenges, extremes must exist – both negative extremes and positive.
Tragedies occur when someone is exposed to one of the worst extremes available in life. This extreme may be a mental illness or a physical handicap. Tragedies may come from the abuses of evil men. They may come due to a fatal car accident. To understand tragedy, we must understand the existence of extreme dangers, extreme sadness, and extreme injustice.
With the negative extremes that we must endure come many positive extremes. The positive extremes are meant to more than balance the negative extremes and allow us to enjoy the fact that “Man is that he might have joy”. We live in a world where, on a scale of one to ten, your breadth of choices in any aspect of life ranges between one and ten, not between four and six.
Sometimes, you get to choose between extremes. You can choose a life of extreme evil – you can be a devil-worshipper or a serial killer if you wish. Or you can choose the extreme of good – and discipline yourself to be righteousness and kind.You might choose an extremely difficult career, such as becoming a brain surgeon, or you can choose to be a couch potato, and not work at all.
However, you do not get to choose the majority of the positive or negative extremes that occur in life. The weather can bring you a sunny summer day, or a freezing winter night, or a tornado-bearing thunderstorm. Your work can bring you an unexpected promotion and increase in salary – or it can bring you a lay-off notice.
Since our bodies are a major part of our learning experience, they too must suffer through positive and negative experiences. One morning, you may step outside, take a breath of cool morning air and exhilarate in the energy and vibrancy of the new day. The next day you may be suffering from the flu, a painful sprained ankle… or you may be feeling the first pains of cancer. Due to genetic defects, problems in the birthing process, or other accidents, there are many people who must deal with mental and physical disabilities their whole lives. Mental health is especially fragile. The brain is a very complex organ, and its chemistry hangs in a delicate balance. When imbalances do occur, those afflicted must fight against their own thoughts and emotions. All those who have taken their own lives have fought such internal battles.
Extreme negative and positive experiences can follow one another quickly. My wife tells me that childbirth is one of the most painful experiences in a woman’s life.But that pain is immediately followed by the ultimate joy of having your newborn baby placed in your arms. Some health extremes take longer to develop. The robust health and strength of our youth is eventually followed by the aches and weaknesses of becoming elderly.
If you want to learn kindness, develop empathy, handle disappointments, rebound from setbacks, appreciate beauty, and love others, you need to be exposed to extremes. You need to become aware of the blessings of your life, so you can appreciate them. You need to be aware of the difficulties of your life, so you can recognize them and deal with them.
A couple of examples can illustrate this point. Joseph Smith was chosen to the prophet of the restored church. His was a special calling – but with that honor came a number of ghastly negative extremes. Jesus Christ was chosen to be our Savior. But with that honor came the most negative extreme in the history of mankind – the Atonement. Doctrine & Covenants 122:7-8 sums up the teaching that I am trying to express today and gives you a comparison. To appreciate this scripture, you must imagine the Savior addressing Joseph Smith, who was sitting in Liberty Jail. And I quote...
“And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.
The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he?”
My message today is encapsulated in this one phrase, “know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.” As Joseph learned, in the life he chose to follow, there were extreme challenges, including physical attacks by evil men. The extremes of life give us experiences, but often harm us in the process. Whether that extreme is a mental imbalance or another challenge that takes away our hope for the future, we need to understand that our earth existence must include dangers.
Russel M Nelson once stated, “The only way to take sorrow out of death is to take love out of life.” We would never choose to do that of course. Likewise, the only way to take progress out of life is to reduce our choices and challenges. We shouldn’t wish to do that either. Satan wanted to do just that in his plan for earth life. We would never choose to do that of course. Likewise, the only way to take progress out of life is to reduce our choices and challenges. We shouldn’t wish to do that either. Satan wanted to do just that in his plan for earth life.
You have probably heard of the Chinese philosophy of the Yin and the Yang. If you have ever seen its circular symbol, there is a black half (Yin) and a white half (Yang). The message of this symbol is that everything has its opposite. Life is made up of good and evil, light and darkness, health and sickness, pleasure and pain. We must be exposed to those opposites to learn wisdom and to be able to make our choices in life.
Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints believe that, in the Preexistence, there was actually a war fought about whether we should come to Earth. Most followed Heavenly Father’s plan, and we generally think that those who followed Satan’s plan were either very unrighteous or very gullible. But I believe that many of our rebellious brethren were simply fearful. I believe they were told what to expect in earth life. They would have mortal bodies that could be broken, and there would be pain and suffering, storms and earthquakes. The details of mortal life, as proposed to us in the Preexistence, probably took our breath away. Indeed, there would be positive extremes and the joys of having a body and a family. But Earth life might have appeared to be an army bootcamp where we would be put through an obstacle course of challenges and decisions. All in the name of Eternal Progress. Those who rebelled decided it was too hard of a plan to follow. The rest of us came here – and indeed, we found it is difficult. But… we also found that it is worth the sacrifices.
This Too Shall Pass
There is one additional blessing that was provided for our Eternal Progress that we rarely think about. It is a promise that requires some patience on our part, but it will not fail us. That promise is that, whatever negative extreme you are experiencing, it will end.We will not be stuck in a challenge we have been given. I think this principle can be best expressed with the well-known phrase, “This Too Shall Pass”.
As an aside, the phrase, “This too shall pass” is an adage that is believed to have come out of Persia. In September of 1859, President Abraham Lincoln recounted the phrase and the story behind it in a speech. He said…
“It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: "And this, too, shall pass away." How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction!”
Personal difficulties are never permanent. We have too much to learn for challenges to take too much of our time. We have new beginnings at the start of every moment, every day, and every year of our lives. Addressing our youth for a moment, this school year will end. Junior high school, as hard as it can be, does end. Every aspect of your life (except your eternal family) will fade away, making room for the next one.
As scriptural proof of the principle that “This too will pass”, I turn to another revelation that Joseph Smith received while in Liberty Jail. Again, you must picture the Savior talking to a forlorn Joseph, who sitting behind bars. In Doctrine & Covenants 121, we read,
“My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.”
Granted, the Lord’s definition of “a small moment” may be longer than ours. But when compared to our eternal lives, adversity does only last a moment… The Lord was encouraging Joseph to take a new perspective on his life.
The phrase, “This too shall pass” is usually applied to a difficult time in our lives. But it applies to everything. It can just as easily be applied to the best times in our lives. You look forward to your summer vacations all year long. Then, like magic, the vacation is over, and you find yourself unpacking the suitcases. Good times pass very quickly. Bad times pass too, though their departures usually feel overly delayed.
“This too shall pass” will be true for your life on earth as well. With time, all parts of our bodies break down, almost simultaneously. Our minds lose their memories, our teeth fall out, our muscles degenerate, our kidneys fail, and our hearts struggle. It is as if the parts of our body were designed to function for only one lifetime. Then they all break down. For the many elderly people who are in pain or suffering from dementia, death is welcome. They find hope in the phrase “This Too Shall Pass”. On a personal note, my father is one of those people. He is waiting for his life to pass with anticipation.
Lastly, the Earth itself, in its present form, shall pass away. The purpose and reasons for earth life will be met. It will pass on, and we will move on to the next phase of our eternal existence. This new phase will be different than earth, as we read in Revelations 21, the second to last chapter in the Bible,
“And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes, and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain; for the former things are passed away.”
By definition, youth are young. They have not lived long enough to recognize that all difficulties of life will surely pass. Youth who commit suicide don’t recognize that all troubles will come to an end. Their current thoughts and emotions are too overwhelming for them – and they have not yet learned the patience to wait for an intolerable situation to end.
To any youth who has ever considered suicide, please know that every aspect of your life, good or bad, is meant for your benefit. Your experiences are meant to teach you. You are meant to enjoy the good moments and patiently endure the bad. In doing so, you will learn the principles of cause and effect, of choice and consequence, and the benefits of consulting a higher power when making decisions. Your challenges were never meant to destroy you, so seek help if you feel they are.
To the families of someone who has committed suicide, please also know that the intensity of your grief and sorrow will diminish. With the death of any loved one, the existence of an afterlife becomes particularly relevant to you. That is a discussion for another day. For now, let me share one thought. Many people think that when earth life ends, we will immediately pass through our Final Judgement and be sent to whichever kingdom we deserve. While I agree that those events will eventually happen, their timeline is not known. I am a long way from the person that God needs me to be. So, I believe that there will probably be other stops in our eternal Progress before the judgement. During those intermediate phases of our eternal life, I believe we will have the opportunity to learn new things and… set things aright within our families. God gives us time on earth to figure things out. I think He will do so in the next life as well. Don’t lose hope in that.
To conclude, let me give you my final answer to the question, “Why is earth life designed to be so difficult that people will actually take their own lives?”. Earth life was designed with extreme difficulties because its purpose is to teach us. We don’t know what is in store for us in future afterlives. But the Lord does, and He wants us to be prepared for them. We are given extreme blessings to dull the sting of our bad moments and to encourage us to continue to move forward. Sometimes a person, often a youth, can get confused at that mix of difficulties and blessings, and not be able to recognize the good moments of life anymore.
As one normal day follows another, we sometimes forget that we are evolving every moment. Life allows us to become more knowledgeable, kinder, more empathetic, wiser, and more capable in helping to organize God’s kingdom on earth. We are given the extremes of life – health and sickness, good influences and bad, vigor and exhaustion, love and heartache – all to progress to become more capable servants and leaders in God’s kingdom.
For everyone who is recovering from a tragedy, please remember that “thine afflictions shall be but a small moment”. There is much wisdom behind God’s Creation of our Earth. We can be confident that there will also be wisdom in the design of the afterlife as well. May God Bless you in your voyage. Lastly, if you know of anyone who has suffered their own tragedy and might benefit from this podcast episode, please share it with them.
This is Scott Frazer of the podcast “Science and Scriptures”. Thanks for listening and take care.